You've started the conversation. They replied. Now what?

Most founders freeze here. They either pitch too fast and kill the vibe, or they let the conversation drift into nothing.

This lesson teaches you how to build momentum systematically — moving relationships forward without forcing them.

First: Understand Where You Are

Every conversation starts somewhere on the Intent × Consent matrix we covered in Lesson 3.

Your first job is to recognize which quadrant you're in:

• High Intent + High Consent: They need what you have and want help
• High Intent + Low Consent: They have the problem but aren't asking for help
• Low Intent + High Consent: They're engaging but not expressing need
• Low Intent + Low Consent: They're just sharing thoughts in your space

This starting position determines everything that follows.

The Natural Progression Path

Relationships don't jump quadrants. They flow naturally through adjacent stages.

Here's how conversations typically evolve:

Low/Low → Low/High → High/High

Someone shares a tool they're trying (low intent, low consent) → They start asking questions about it (low intent, high consent) → They reveal it's not working and need alternatives (high intent, high consent)

Low/Low → High/Low → High/High

Someone mentions your space casually (low/low) → They share a specific frustration (high intent, low consent) → They become open to solutions (high/high)

Your job is to guide this progression naturally, not force it.

How to Build Momentum From Each Position

Starting from Low Intent + Low Consent

They mentioned something in your space. That's it. No problem expressed, no help requested.

Your move: Become a peer, not a pitcher.

Example progression:

You: "Saw you mention [Tool]. Been considering it too. What's your take so far?"

Them: "It's okay, but the reporting is pretty basic."

You: "Yeah, that's what's been holding us back. Have you found any workarounds?"

Them: "Not really. Actually becoming a real bottleneck for us..."

See what happened? You've moved them from Low/Low to High/Low in two messages. They're now expressing intent (a problem) even if they haven't asked for help yet.

Starting from Low Intent + High Consent

They're engaging openly but haven't expressed a specific need yet.

Your move: Explore their experience and find the intent.

Example progression:

You: "Loved your point about [topic] in that thread. We've been thinking about this too. What's your take on how [specific aspect] fits in?"

Them: "Thanks! Yeah, I think it's interesting but honestly haven't figured out the best approach yet. Been experimenting with a few things..."

You: "What kind of experiments? We've been testing [specific approach] but the results have been mixed"

Them: "Similar actually. The main challenge has been [specific problem]. Starting to think we need a different solution..."

You've helped them articulate a problem they didn't initially express. Moved from Low/High to High/High by exploring together.

Starting from High Intent + Low Consent

They've shared a problem but haven't asked for help.

Your move: Explore before you solve.

Example progression:

You: "That [problem] sounds brutal. What've you tried so far?"

Them: "Everything. [Tool A] was too complex, [Tool B] too expensive..."

You: "We went through the same journey. [Tool B] almost worked but killed us on the pricing too. What would the ideal solution look like for you?"

Them: "Honestly, just need something that [specific criteria]"

Now they're actively engaging about solutions. You've moved to High/High.

Starting from High Intent + High Consent

They need help and they're asking for it.

Your move: Deliver immediate value.

Don't do this:

‍"I might have something that could help. Want me to send info?"

Do this:

‍"We built [Product] for exactly this. Here's a quick Loom showing how it handles [their specific problem]: [link]

The [specific feature] part seems perfect for what you described."

When someone is High/High, they want solutions, not more steps.

The Value Delivery Principle

Here's the mindset shift that changes everything:

Stop asking permission to help.

If you genuinely have something valuable, share it. Right away. No gates. No friction.

Bad:

• "Would you like me to send you more info?"
• "Happy to share a link if you're interested"
• "No pressure, but I could show you what we built"

Good:

• "Here's exactly how we solve that: [link/resource]"
• "Made you a quick video walking through the solution: [loom]"
• "This template might help - it's what we use: [link]"

If it's truly valuable, they'll thank you. If it's not, they'll ignore it. But adding friction helps nobody.

Recognizing Momentum Signals

Watch for these signs that someone is moving up the Intent × Consent matrix:

Growing Intent:

• Questions become more specific
• They share more context about their situation
• They mention timeline or urgency
• They describe what's not working

Growing Consent:

• Response time gets faster
• Messages get longer
• They ask you questions back
• They share vulnerabilities or frustrations

When you see these signals, it's time to accelerate — deliver more value, be more direct.

Common Traps That Kill Conversations

Trap 1: Devaluing Yourself

Never say:

• "Sorry to bother you"
• "I know you're busy but..."
• "No pressure at all"
• "Feel free to ignore this"

You're not bothering them. You're having a conversation they chose to engage in.

Trap 2: Adding Unnecessary Steps

Never say:

• "Can I send you something?"
• "Would you be open to learning more?"
• "Want to hop on a quick call?"

Just share the value. Let them decide what to do with it.

Trap 3: Pitching in Low/Low

If someone casually mentions your space but shows no intent or consent, don't pitch. Build relationship first. You'll lose them instantly.

Trap 4: Being Generic

Templates kill trust. Every message should reference something specific they said. Show you're listening, not copying/pasting.

Trap 5: Forcing the Timeline

Some conversations take three messages. Some take three weeks. Pushing faster than the natural rhythm always backfires.

Special Cases: Connectors and Amplifiers

Remember: even if a connector or amplifier appears High/High, treat them as one level lower.

They get pitched constantly. Your job is to break through by being genuinely helpful, not extractive.

With connectors: Focus on shared challenges, industry insights, mutual connections. The ask comes much later.

With amplifiers: Lead with value for their audience. What would their followers find useful? Start there.

Action Steps

1. Audit your active conversations
   • Map each one to the Intent × Consent matrix
   • Identify which ones are ready to progress
2. Rewrite your templates
   • Remove all devaluing language
   • Remove all friction-adding questions
   • Make sure each delivers immediate value
3. Practice the progression
   • Pick one Low/Low conversation
   • Map out how you could naturally guide it to High/High
   • Execute patiently over the next week
4. Track momentum signals
   • Note when responses get faster/longer
   • Watch for growing specificity in their questions
   • Recognize when it's time to accelerate

Remember: every great partnership, customer, or connection started with someone taking the time to build a real relationship.

Move with intention. Deliver value freely. Let momentum be your guide.